It's supposed to rain today. I really would like a thunderstorm, the heat is too much for me. I would also like to spend today being sick and angry, listening to cello music. I feel a bout of depression coming on, but not the bad kind, just the kind where I'm a little melancholy.
People are irritating me more than usual, especially the ones who are falsely nice, or the ones who want something from me. The one I've mentioned who keeps hitting on me, and doesn't even know me as a person. I'm just a little bit digusted. I think that I despise her.
I hate people who want to be your friend just because you're pretty or have something they want. Can't you like someone for who they are? For something that matters?
I'm listening to Love Will Tear Us Apart and feeling sick. Well, Bowie will cheer me up, but the feeling doesn't quite go away.
I don't like this! I don't want to feel so uncertain. Nor do I like reverting to teen-angst mode like this! Why can't I have something solid?
Humans have a naturally feral nature, but somewhere along the way we became social creatures. Who is to say that I have to succumb to habit and deal with them?
Who is to say that I must be a part of what they stand for?

I feel this helpless throbbing, a panic spiraling down my spine, taking my breath with it.
Spiraling down into the dark water like my dreams. I look up and see someone who couldn't have helped me.