Catnap

So I'm having a zombie day right now. I want to sleep, but can't. And to think that today the real work begins. At least I have someone to help me out. If only I had the money to back up my mouth. My muscles tighten and spasm, and the pain drags through my head yet again.

I feel that I am turning narcoleptic, I fall asleep so quickly. My pills cost about $400 a month, so I have a feeling I won't be buying any (I haven't so far. I get samples.) However well they work, I know that I won't be getting them for long. I think that I'm mildly addicted to them, and with good reason, too. They knock me right out. Sadly, I'll be going back to the old ones soon. At least I won't have to go through withdrawals. Those are terrifying.

The people that you trust have a special way of screwing you over. Especially, it seems, the people that I trust. See, the people that I like, trust, and respect are those that are like me. And that person is arrogant, distrustful, selfish, and judgemental. So a friend of mine isn't talking to me, and when they do, it's not very nice. I wish that they would speak to me, tell me why I'm being shunned. Do I deserve this? No idea. What grudge can someone who hasn't seem me all summer hold? Ah, well, we've all got our problems, and this person isn't shallow, so maybe it's not something I can't remember doing. I'm sorry. Please talk to me.

Return Of The Fly

My head is buzzing like a minor thunderstorm is brewing behind my forehead. It's raining on the television, and the volume, it's so loud it makes me feel like one of those ominous clouds are hovering outside the window. Here's what you're missing, right now. We're watching a court drama, a jury is trying to decide whether or not a teenage boy is guilty of murdering his father. Our teacher is cutting butterflies out of paper not three feet from me. I'm going to ask him to make one for me, and tell him that I have tiny paper cranes, so tiny that perhaps they were make with a pair of tweezers. This is what you're missing. Let me tell you a secret: There are people, here, that miss you, too.

But you know, this day wouldn't be quite as lovely if it were any different. I feel just a little tinge of loneliness, and a little cold. I'm wrapped up in my long coat, and though I may feel sad, there's some paper butterflies fluttering on the table. So it's a lovely day. See, just like the cold makes you feel grateful for your coat, loneliness makes you grateful for what's beautiful.

Von Trapped

I think that you can see me as I pull faces at you from across the room. That's just the kind of person I am. Someone hit my reset button! I've been listening to a lot of very bouncy, cheerful music. Erasure keeps me in a good mood. I highly recommend them.

Well, I didn't have another terror last night, and I'm grateful for that, at least. Then again, I took an extra tiny white pill to help out the usual two. The extra was for my constantly running nose. I couldn't breathe. I slept like a rock.

I've been watching a lot of musicals of late, most notably Hedwig and the Angry Inch. My favorites always seem to involve transvestites of one sort or another. I started to give The Sound of Music another chance, but I got distracted and ended up drawing scary faces on the ceiling of my bedroom.

I'm thankful that it's Thursday, it means that the week is going by fast. Honestly, I don't know where the time goes. My rings keep tapping on the keyboard, and I think this is what they call "stream of consiousness." It means that you write down anything and everything that comes to mind in the moment. Wait, if I was, you'd be getting the chorus of Erasaure's "How Can I Say" over and over again. It's a fun song, very campy. Ah, well, I feel sleepy, and shall resort to something that doesn't require quite so much exertion.

Plastic Sturgeon

Take that, people who make safety pins. They're not safe at all. I almost stabbed right through my finger. I no longer have a left thumb. It's true, I'll prove it. See, see!! I just wiggled the stump. It can twitch but it can't hit the space key. I've been hitting it with my nose. The button smells like thumb. And what does that smell like, you may ask? *Here's where I shove your face into the keyboard!* So take that, people who make computers.

I'm positively itching with excitement. I wanna go home, and make myself a key lime pie. I've wanted some since this morning. I will cover it in whipped cream and down a whole pot of coffee. Take me with coffee, never with tea. You're the pie that pleases me. People gawk, is that pie green? Ask for a bite, fuck you I'm mean.

Jeff is a cocktease

I think that I had a terror last night. I was scared out of my wits. I think I was screaming, in fact I know that I was, but it seems that nobody heard me. I don't remember what I was so afraid of, only that I'm a little apprehensive of going to sleep tonight. I swear that I hear someone yell at me and wake me up. I gotta talk to somebody or figure out what the hell is causing this. Strangely, I am not exaggerating.

The title? That's completely true. Jeff hits on gay guys, while he is in fact (though dubiously) straight. The little bitch.

Many Happy Returns

So I have officially arrived, and I plan to winter on the inter-web. The reliability of this screen is entirely dubious, and I fear that it may not work for very long. Wait, wait, I'm going to take a detour!

And he spoke of pastures green....I was never told why.

Peter Murphy would be proud. So now, given time, power, and free internet, I find myself without much to say, suffice that I would like to say "HI!" to my solitary afeeslash fan, and "Kiss my ass!" to the interweb administrators who are deleting my music because it violates some rule that I didn't bother to read.

Ah, well. Adieu.