Take that, people who make safety pins. They're not safe at all. I almost stabbed right through my finger. I no longer have a left thumb. It's true, I'll prove it. See, see!! I just wiggled the stump. It can twitch but it can't hit the space key. I've been hitting it with my nose. The button smells like thumb. And what does that smell like, you may ask? *Here's where I shove your face into the keyboard!* So take that, people who make computers.
I'm positively itching with excitement. I wanna go home, and make myself a key lime pie. I've wanted some since this morning. I will cover it in whipped cream and down a whole pot of coffee. Take me with coffee, never with tea. You're the pie that pleases me. People gawk, is that pie green? Ask for a bite, fuck you I'm mean.
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